28 January 2013

Finding happiness

OKAY so now that I have started a blog, I'm not too sure where to go with it. Honestly, I thought writing out some feelings might help me keep my emotions and hormonal imbalances in check. HAHA yeah right.

Well, to start off, I have to say THANK YOU.  I had a friend come over today and help me put up a baby gate.  Also, I am pretty sure my neighbor is shoveling my driveway for me. My mom sent me a whole box of formula for Briley! I am so thankful for people who care. I have never had so much support around me.  I know if I need anything, there is someone I can count on. It is so relieving!

Briley has been very cranky- to the point of screaming and I cant figure out why. Babies are usually easy to figure out when they are crying. I run through a check list in my head.
Diaper? Hungry? Hot? Cold? Sleepy? Wanting attention? fever? hurting?
 
Once I go through the whole list of things that may be ailing my sweet baby, I come to a stressed out loss.  I found myself there today. We got a clean diaper, she ate squash, took a warm bath, no fever... I played with her, I rocked her. She still cried. Maybe shes teething. At a loss, I sat down by the computer, and pulled up an old video that I have saved for years. I held her to my chest and rocked her as Seth popped up on the screen and started talking.

Briley instantly stopped crying. I continued rocking her as her eyes glued to the computer. She squealed.  I let the video repeat over and over and I smiled.  It makes me so happy that she loves her Daddy so much. Her capacity for love simply amazes me.

I miss Seth. So much. But I am so happy I have her, my mini Seth, I am so happy I have another child on the way. I am so happy that when Seth returns home we will have our whole family together.
That thought keeps me happy. I am so happy, and so in love.

I cant wait to see Briley's reaction when she can see her Daddy on skype!
Hopefully, she wakes up with a tooth in the morning.

Here's to another day down.