After hitting the 2 week mark, I've felt myself slowly drifting down. Dealing with deployment is a chiche emotional roller-coaster, where the gravity of being separated just wants to bring you down, but with the science of optimism you try to keep going up- only to go down again. There's even crazy twists, turns, and loops. Now get on that roller-coaster pregnant with an infant.
I want to be happy. But sometimes it's just so damn hard. It would be so much easier to just stay in bed. Luckily I have a sweet giggly baby that needs me to keep moving.
I had somewhat of a wake up call around 4:00 this afternoon. I was still wearing sweats. I still had bed head from sleeping with damp hair, I had only accomplished one load of laundry and cleaning out the vacuum. Briley was wearing just a onesie and socks. To top it all off, I was sitting on the couch eating a can of strawberry flavored cake frosting with a butter knive.
WHAT THE FLAMINGO am I doing? I am letting myself sit here and be sad! I am letting myself get down. And even though the frosting was very yummy, I'm sure its not considered a pregnancy super food.
I wrote a shopping list with a blue crayon, and even though it was 24 degrees out, I bundled up my little bundle of joy and we got out of the house.
I've talked to some of the other ladies, whose husbands are with mine. And surprise, they have been feeling like they're kinda in a rut, too. I wonder if its like a preset timeline. Or maybe its the miserable weather. Either way, I feel good knowing that I am not alone. Not at all. Its good to know what I'm feeling is normal.
I am glad I have plans for tomorrow. I need to have plans. I need to stay busy. I DO NOT need to wear sweats all day and sit. I'm going to workout in the morning, and I am so thankful for my stollerstrides group. I will feel so much better after MOVING.
Today is Briley's 7 month Birthday. Can you believe it?!?! 7 MONTHS!!!
