DEAR AMY GLASS,

No Amy Glass, the point of having kids is not to keep a woman from being lonely. As you [should] know, children grow up and have lives for themselves.  I don’t think you will ever understand why a couple decides to have a child. 

I am an EXCEPTIONAL wife and a mother. One of those people you look down on. I am a little confused on why you would look down on another woman just because her dreams in life are different then your own.  I am a very traditional person. I never wanted a successful business career; a busy 9-5 with big pay checks and bonuses to cover my designer shoes and weekly mainis. Does that mean I lack ambition? Not at all.

I am living my dream. Why would you look down on me for that? Why do you call my job stupid? My husband thinks managing a household is important. It is my half of our team effort. You think doing laundry isn’t important? Then please, go to your fancy job with dirty clothes on.

I feel accomplished after a day of cleaning poop and puke, keeping the home clean, completing laundry and getting meals prepared.  You may feel accomplished after holding a great presentation, or writing a blog. We both feel accomplished. What makes you a better woman? Is it that you don’t need a man?

You look down on me for choosing this?

 

 

LOL!!! That’s funny. But go ahead.

You want to look down on me for choosing this?

 

I’m a little offended.

They are not holding me back from being exceptional. I am exceptional because of them. You think I will have no great accomplishments in life? Lady, I have had two hearts beating in my body at ONCE. I grew and gave birth to two humans. If you think this is no great accomplishment, then please try it.  I am raising two babies to become good and productive people for our future world.  They are and will be my greatest accomplishment in life.  If I became the president of the United States, that would not change. They would still be my greatest accomplishment. 

I will never look down on my daughter, whether she grows up to be a house wife, a stay at home mom, a business woman, or a doctor.  I will raise her to accomplish her dreams no matter what they are and to support other women instead of looking down on them for having different dreams and life choices.

Women will be equal with men when we quit acting like little school girls and putting each other down in on-line blogs.

You know, I never heard of you until your blog entry made headlines.  

My greatest accomplishment: being an exceptional wife and mother. Your greatest accomplishment? Looking down on others. Who is the better woman?

The end.

Well I feel my blogging is coming to a close. Deployment is over. My husband is home just in time for Briley's 1st birthday and William's arrival (which should be anytime now). It was an unexpected but very exciting homecoming. Briley is still a Daddy's girl for sure. I am so lucky. I may post updates but not as often for sure. Especially with a newborn. It was a long 6 months but now with him home I feel like it was all just a bad dream.  I am back in my real life and I couldn't be happier. 

Spider in the room

Sooo I had a less then perfect weekend filled with some very entertaining drama that unfortunately I can not make public. I know everyone loves a juicy story and as much as I would like to vent, I can't. 

So back on track here: I had a very crappy weekend and it really really really had me stressed and depressed. Today I have let go as much of it as I can, however I had a teething baby who has left me completely exhausted. I should be sleeping now, but I have to share this story. 

Finally ending my long day, I climbed into bed and started my usual routine of bothering people on Facebook and reading their business. This is my social life. Lol. I happened to glance up and something catches my eye. 

No!!

Oh no it is.

And it is gigantic.

A spider. On my ceiling. Making its way toward the ceiling fan.

It creeps it's way closer and closer until it is above the spinning blades. The force causes the spider to lose its grip on the ceiling. 

NO! Please for the love of all creatures that are not creepy crawly!! 

The spider falls.

Clunk. 

I hear the blade hit the spiders body. And it is gone. 

From the ceiling but oh my goodness where is it. 

I tell my mathematical genius of a brother the story and ask him where it could have landed. His genius answer: "to the left?"

I look to the left and there it is. On the left corner of...

My bed!!!!! Omg Eeewwww someone please save me!!!!

Now I admit. There was a moment of weakness. I wanted to break down and get my husband home to get this freakishly alive 8 legged creature off my bed. 

But I have to do this alone. I can do this. Think. I ran down stairs and graved my shark hand vac. I vacuumed that sucker off my bed. Replaced my sheets with fresh spider-germ free sheets. And I have officially conquered another crisis. I am a boss. 

And now the teether is up. So on to the next...

Another candle

It's my birthday. Anyone who REALLY knows me well knows that i love my birthday. In the northern hemisphere the 21st of June is the longest day of the year. The first day of Summer.  Therefore the longest birthday. Pure awesomeness. 

Seth surprised me with some very thoughtful and amazing presents. Les Mis. (I've watched half of it now. Maybe I will get to finish this weekend :) ).  The most delicious chocolate covered strawberries.  Then a gorgeous white gold necklace with a diamond rope, accentuating two rubies. My rubies! My two sweet little July babies. I seriously cried when I opened it. Not only did he get me something fancy and beautiful, but it's so thoughtful. My two July babies. I am the happiest mommy and wife. 

Bartender.

I think I will start things off with some sad feelings so that way I can end with the happy ones. I like to end with happy thoughts because I am a happy person. I want you to know that. Don't think that I am not because I might write about some sad feelings. But everyone has them. Even millionaires. Right? Haha yeah I doubt it, too- but here goes:

I need someone to talk to. Sounds easy enough right? No. I need someone I do not know. Some one who doesn't know me. Someone I will probably never see again. So that way, I can say whatever. There are so many things just weighing me down that I cannot talk about, I cannot publish in a blog, or make public. 

 I am not that person. You know that person that posts 3 Facebook statuses about how sad their life is. Or the person that puts all of their drama on facebook? Nope. Not me. I am not sad. I am happy with my life. I am blessed and I am lucky. I don't want to use Facebook to make people feel sorry or me, or feel sad. My main Facebook use is to share with my family who is far away, to have easy conversations and keep in touch. But if I'm going to do anything besides that I want to encourage and to be uplifting. To inspire and to be inspired.  Unfortunately, right  now I am weighed down. I don't  like being weighed down. 

You know who I need?! A bartender!! I know that is the last person a 9 month pregnant lady should be seeing. But think about it- bartenders give you a stress relieving beverage and then listen to your problems. They will nod their head and pretend to care. You can get everything off your chest, they get a good tip, you walk out and never have to see that person in your daily life. Sure the bar tender might judge you, but who cares. They aren't someone that matters in your life. And who knows maybe they know just what to say. 

When I worked as a barista I felt like the bartender of mornings. I gave people a stress relieving beverage and nodded my head as they told me about the job they were off to where they had an annoying coworker or a boss that wouldn't give them time off. Or whatever. I would try to encourage them, Offer an extra shot of espresso, and off into the ratrace they would go. I would like to say that most of these people had a better day, after talking through some of their stresses. I am sure the coffee helped, too. 

Okay the good stuff. Briley is 2 weeks shy of turning one and she has finally cut 2 teeth. Yay!!! I hope she gets the other 2 sooner rather then later. She is the cutest little girl. I am not saying that because she is mine, I am saying that because seriously she is so adorable. I can't believe my little girl is going to be 1. She is my rock. She is why I keep going. She is the reason I want p be happy and strong. Briley is my inspiration. 

Like I said I am not trying to use this as a tool for sympathy or a pity party. Just need to write. It makes me feel better even though I didnt get to write about the things that are bothering me, I was able to say that I can't talk about them. I am bound and determined to write a happy blog next. Nothing but happy. Because I am so fortunate to have this life, the ups an the downs. 

Did I mention I have the most beautiful little girl? Well I do. 

Girlie Time

Today Briley modeled in her first fashion show for Bubele. She was so adorable, even in all of her crankiness backstage.  I was so fortunate to do it with her for Limabeane Maternity and More.

 I had fun, Briley had fun, and the expo was amazing!! It was a great time and a new experience for Briley. We even got to keep Briley's too cute for words outfit!

However, I have had some other factors weighing on my heart today which I am having a hard time ignoring.  I want to stop worrying. I want to go do more things with Briley... more girl time before we add a boy to the family. I miss Seth, I am so over being pregnant right now, there are other confidential issues that have me down.  But I am not going to get this time back. I have about 5 weeks where it is just me and her, and I need quit worrying about things I can not change and enjoy each and every day. One day far too soon my baby will be grown and on her own. Every day she learns something new, and amazes me.

Planning

I am feeling at ease tonight as I have completed an emergency phone number list. As of now, my parents are planning on driving all the way up to NNY from Georgia, so when I have Will, Briley can stay here, sleep in her own be and be in her own house. For me, this is the best case scenario. Briley is my main concern. We have not been seperated  more the a few hours at a time. We live on a pretty strict routine because that is how we function best.  She always does just fine when I leave her with a friend for an apt. She doesn't even blink when I leave. But I am concerned about leaving her for atleat two days. The less change for her the better and if she stays in a familiar place I think she will be more comfortable. 

Unfortunitly in life, things dont always work out the way we would like. My parents might not be able to come, or they might not get here in time, or who knows. So in the case of an emergency I have a list of numbers of wonderful friends.  Also on the list I have my doctors numbers and reminders. Tomorrow I am going to type up a schedule for Briley. Of course that is subject to change as she grows over the next 2 months. But I can change it as we go. 

I feel a big relief having somewhat of an emergency plan. 

The hardest part about having a baby during deployment is leaving my 1st baby. But honestly I think being away from her will be harder on me then it will be for her. She's a strong and resilient little girl, and we will get through this together thanks to a lot of good friends. 

Bubble Gum

Last week, I decided to treat myself to a movie rental at the Redbox.  I don't get to watch movies often. I don't get to watch a TV show often.  So, I make my way to Wallgreens for a formula run. Afterwards, I picked out a comedy and juggling a shopping bag, a purse, and a singing Briley, I pulled out my wallet and out tumbles some change. I could hear multiple coins fall, though I could not see how much over my pregnant belly. At 31 weeks pregnant and holding a 10 month old, I was not about to attempt to bend over for some change.

 Some child holding his mommy's hand will surely see it on their way into the store. He will add it to his piggy bank at home where he is saving up for a new baseball cap. Or maybe after picking up a quarter he will have enough change in his pocket for some bubble gum.  I smiled at the image in my head as I take my movie and began to load Briley into the car.

When I looked up, a man coming out of the store passed the Redbox and bent over.  REALLY?? That quarter was for the little boy and his bubble gum.  The man seemed to smile as he walked to his car, passing a woman on her way in.  She gets to the Redbox and obviously sees some more change because she sped up to go and pick some up. SERIOUSLY. This lady even did a little hop as she added the booty to her pocketbook.

Now I know I had a few quarters in my wallet,some dimes- but it wasn't like I had more then a dollar or so in change. And I had no cash that could have fallen. So these grown adults, both about a decade or so older then me, were all happy about a quarter or some dimes.  I shook my head and headed home. SERIOUSLY PEOPLE?!? You didn't look like it, but I hope you needed that change.  Somewhere out there there is a little boy that is a quarter short of some bubble gum.

Fluffy Stuff

Feathers. Everywhere. That pretty much sums up the past two weeks.  

Seth had one feather pillow. It hasn't been on our bed for years. I usually save it for guests, and recently I have kept it on my couch for mid-morning napping. Since it has been on the couch it has gained a lovely collection of drool, spit-up, and sticky baby-hand residue. I threw it in the washer, on a gentle cycle. Then I put it in the dryer, on medium.  I have read that you can clean feather pillows this way. Well, I go to open the dryer and I was enveloped in a fog of flying feathers. 

That one moment is a perfect example of my life lately; everything seems to be going wrong, life has been hard to be honest with you.  But at the same time, I have to laugh.  Briley has been very demanding.  We have been fighting a runny nose, a cough, and a changing schedule. 

In addition, I am getting bigger, more tired, and definitely more uncomfortable.  Its hard to get up, its hard to bend over, its harder when you are holding a 19 pound baby. Its hard to sleep. Its hard to keep up with the house, Its impossible to keep the dog clean.

 But this is what life is all about. Its kinda beautiful if you think about it. I miss Seth a lot. I wish he was here to give me a hand when I'm trying to stand up. And I wish he was here to get me some fried pickles late at night. I especially wish he was here to hug me after a long day.  But I'm okay... as long as I can finish gathering the last of the flying feathers out of my laundry room. I've got this. I am one more day closer.

First Steps

First steps. One of the biggest milestones. On the day of her 10th month, Briley took her first steps toward me after letting go of her activity table.  Naturally it came with a mix of emotions. So exciting! So happy! But oh my baby girl is growing in to a toddler so fast! And then there is the fact that Seth isn't here to see it. I tried to get her to do it while he Skyped us,  but she was too excited to see him on the computer.  I got to tell him about that first magical step, he seen her standing, and I am thankful for that. However, it is just not the same.  I know I should be happy, but I can feel that hole in my heart.

This past week I have been doing well emotionally, with a few hormonal exceptions. I have felt optimistic about time passing by and how soon he will be home.  Tonight I feel like it is light years away.  Tonight, I can feel the miles that are separating me from the man that I love. I feel the time that is separating my family.

But I have to be positive.  By the time he comes home, she will be running into his arms. I think about this a lot. I play it in my mind, over and over. The thought makes me smile. And now that she has taken her first step, we are another step closer to that moment.

-Happy 10 months baby girl. You may be little, but you are my rock. I love you always. We are one step closer.

Bean Stalk

WOW. I cannot get over just how lucky I am.  At the beginning of this deployment, I thought I was the unluckiest. But now I can see how truly blessed I am.  I have a beautiful baby girl, a son on the way, and even though he is not here, I have a husband who is good looking and loves me for all my flaws, and continues to make me a better, stronger person.

Briley is about to be 10 months. Time goes by so fast, and she grows even faster. She is gaining more sounds and they have meaning.  They all start with D. (of course) DADA- dad. Duhh- Duck. Doo- Duke. and Deh Deh Deh- can be anything. She will point to what she wants and say deh deh.

She is also learning the meaning of words.  Today when she woke up from her nap, I asked her where her bunny was; she smiled and picked it up.  If I ask her where the baby is she pats my tummy, and tries to lift my shirt. Don't think she actually understands there's a little brother in there- but its so sweet.

She also throws fits like nothing else.  If she doesn't get what she wants she will stick out her lip, cry, and even hit me!! That is a habit that has got to go.

Every day she amazes me.  We are in the process of introducing solid foods.  Tonight I cut up a few spaghetti noodles for her.  I expected it to be all over her. I was prepared for that, she was striped down to a diaper. But she took that spaghetti and tossed every little piece on to the floor that I had just finished mopping. But I didn't feel unlucky.  I felt happy, and even recorded her pouty face as she watched Duke lick up the noodles off the floor, leaving nasty doggie tongue residue on the polished hardwood floor.

Then, during her bath, she pooped. A lot. In the tub. And I had to laugh. I'm still smiling. It is funny. She just kept on splashing away. I took her out and set her on the rug. Next, cleaned out the tub before starting her bath all over again.  And I laughed.  These are the moments I will miss one day.  Yes, I want Seth home as soon as possible, but I can not wish this time with my baby girl away. Its just me and her for just 10 more weeks, and I want to inhale every second as she learns and grows.

Speaking of Seth, the best husband ever.... He ordered me a Mother's Day present!!! Today at my door was a huge box. Inside was one of the most coveted kitchen appliances in the world. Yes, that's right, I got a kitchen aid mixer. Beautiful, Shiny, and Red. This Mama is ready to bake!!  The first thing on the list: cookies to send overseas.

Beyond words

I wish there was a word beyond thank you. I say thank you to a stranger who holds the door open for me. Don't get me wrong, I really appreciate such random acts of kindness, and it is especially nice while balancing a wiggly 9 month old on a 28 week belly. However, I need words more powerful then that, for something above and beyond.

I was completely shocked when I discovered my usual stroller strides play group that we attend every Friday was actually a baby shower. Never in my life have I been so surprised.

These ladies had planned out this party for weeks!! Without my knowledge! They thought of every little detail to keep it a secret. They planed with my other friends, who joined in on the action. You know what really surprised me? How they kept it a secret for so long without even flinching.

Not only did my friends shower me with a beautiful party, complete with decorations, delicious food, and cupcakes, but the gifts were so touching and personal. Copies of their own children's favorite books to add to our collection. Adorable boy clothes- which I have a hard time finding since I have an eye for little girl clothes. Diapers. Rattles and toys. Warm, snugly blankets.

Then on top of all of these individual gifts, they all pitched in to get me a double jogging stroller. In the card from everyone there was a target gift card with more then enough to get some last odds and ends.

This is above and beyond what I would expect from friendship. This is family. And this deserves above and beyond thank you. I just hope all of you know how much this means to me, and how grateful I am that I have met all of you.

I had a hard weekend, but anytime I felt down I looked at that big box or some of the adorable tiny outfits, and I remembered, I am not alone. Thank you.

Heart Burns

Last night, one of my good friends asked me what I needed for the baby.  Honestly, I don't even know yet.

And out comes a truth:

  I have not planned this.

Briley was planned. She was planned a year before we even started trying to conceive. I planned her outfits, I planned her room, I planned her birth, I planned bringing her home, and I planned our life as a family of 3.
This is very different.  When I seen those 2 pink lines for the first time, I cried. I got Seth to double check.  "But that one is really faint, right? Maybe i need to take another one."  "Maybe I messed it up." Then the second test, "Maybe we need the digital kind.. they are easier to read."  I had knots in my stomach for days- and it wasn't the morning sickness.

I am happy that we are going to have another baby.  Its just the circumstances. The circumstances are why I am stuck in this denial phase. I'm not in denial that I am pregnant; that is pretty obvious. I get plenty of kicks as reminders. But I am avoiding the fact that I am doing this alone.

There are just so many things to worry about; so many things that are necessary to plan out in advance. Being alone with a nine month old and another baby on the way is a pretty complex situation. But when I try to come up with solutions and plans for all of the possibilities when going into labor, I feel overwhelmed, sad, scared, anxious, and seriously stressed.

When I ignore the fact that I will have to do this with my husband on the other side of the globe, I can function. I can be happy with the pregnancy. I can smile.

However, my friend reminded me that planning this is something I need to do.  She also reminded me that I am not alone. I may not have Seth here, but I do have people I can rely on. Thank goodness, because I need them. My family needs them.

Once I have a plan set in stone (with a plan b, and emergency plan) I will feel much better and I know I will have peace of mind.

I just have to get there. 

~Thank you to my friend.

1/3 of the way there.

A Letter for Hallmark

To Whom It May Concern regarding Gift Books from Hallmark,

I am writing because I noticed on the back of our recordable story book that if it was touching in some way, you would love feedback. 

                My name is Marisa Prosser, and I would like to share our family’s story with our first recordable book.  When my husband deployed our daughter was six months old, and I was three months pregnant. Wanting to keep our daughter connected with her dad, I purchased All the Ways I Love You recordable story book and mailed it to him overseas.  He recorded the story he mailed it back.  I will always treasure the moment when our nine month old first heard her dad’s voice reading to her.  The story is now part of our nightly routine. She also sleeps with the “Until We Hug Again Bunny” so her dad can wish her sweet dreams every night before bed.

 I plan on buying more recordable books for my husband to record, as well as the “Until We Hug Again Bear.”  In July we will have a son and I plan to play the story books and bear for him, so he is familiar with his dad when my husband returns home.

While our family is growing and my husband is away, I am so thankful for these special ways to keep connected.  These books and stuffed animals will also be keepsakes as our children grow up.  I would like to thank you, and invite you to see the video of my daughter and I listening to our first story book: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4R2x8G687E. My family and I will always be grateful.

Sincerely,

Marisa Prosser

As Moonlight Through the Pines...

Georgia is an all around kinda state.  There is a little bit of everything for everybody.  I never realized how nice it was until I left it, but how can you know if you don't try something new.  New York is okay, really. Just too cold.  I have never had a real support system besides my family, however here I do. I am so grateful but seriously, it is cold here!! Did anyone else hear the weather forecast today? High near 50? Sunshine? I want to know where this was, because I was freezing and went grocery shopping in the snow.

So, back to Georgia... I had a good trip. It really went by fast.  It was good seeing my family again, especially my parents.  I consider myself very lucky to have grown up with both Mom and Dad, who both supported me, (and still do) and guided me to be a good person in a world of crazy. I already miss them.  I really enjoyed getting to do the same things we always do together. Shopping with mom, watching the Braves opening game with Dad, and of course eating some chicken, fried.

It is hard to believe that I'm back already. The trip was something to work towards. Now that its over, there is nothing in the near future to look forward to.  My next big event is bringing our baby boy into the world, and that is 15 weeks away.  LONG weeks. The more pregnant you get, the slower it goes.

Keeping busy helps, so I have been very productive the past two days.  Thursday I spent way too much money on things I needed around the house and today I spent way too much money on groceries.  I have installed soft edges around the coffee table, put together a walker, and cleaned out the future playroom (not including the closet). I organized and filed away a years worth of paper work, and put together a box for Seth. It just needs some freshly baked PB &chocolate chip cookies and it will be ready to go!

Speaking of boxes, Seth sent us a box. It had a recorded story book and plush bunny for Briley.  Oh my goodness that baby's eyes light up when daddy's voice reads her the book. And when she hears daddy as she hugs the bunny she gets the biggest toothless smile I have ever seen.  I cried. Tonight, after she went to bed, I hugged the bunny, and had just uncontrollable tears listening to his voice.  I had an involuntary smile as well. Tomorrow I am going to record her listening to the story. I think I am going to write Hallmark and tell them how wonderful it is.

Maybe I will post the letter as a blog entry, too.

I miss Seth more and more as I watch Briley grow and my pregnancy progresses. I wish he could hold her hands as she does little side steps in a circle. I wish he could feel our son kicking. But I am so thankful that Seth is mine. I wouldn't trade this life. Every tear and lonely night, every exhausting day, and every hard obstacle I have to conquer alone, will be worth the moment when we are together again.

It is another day closer.

Picking up my gloves

Well, I'm here to type up a new blog entry.  I am not feeling very positive today, which is why I am writing. Writing a blog will force me to think positive.  Each night I want to think of 3 things that I am thankful for, or made me happy THAT day... this practice will remind me that there is happiness during deployment. As I said in an earlier post, I do not want to miss out on happy moments because I am focused on being down. So even on the down days, I need to think of 3 good things from that day. 

1. I had a great workout this morning! Even though I feel like a manatee trying to do squats, or a cow trying to do a plank,(and cardio is pretty much impossible) I feel so good afterwards. I also love the company of other moms and adorable babies.  I love that I get to do this with Briley.

2. I talked to Seth.  Even though we didn't talk long because the Internet cut off (2nd day in a row..UGH) I heard from him and I know he is well, and he knows that Briley is growing by the minute. lol.

3. At&t overnighted me a new air card FRIDAY, and I got it TODAY. The positive aspect to this annoyingly long wait is that is is working so far, which makes me happy.

 

 

-Tomorrow I am picking up my gloves.

 

American Dream

It's been a while since I posted, so just in case you missed my facebook announcement, IT'S A BOY!!!!!  I am SO surprised and excited!!! I just feel so complete now, I have a handsome husband and I am a stay at home mommy to a daughter and a son. One of each. HOW PERFECT IS THAT?!? Honestly, I am living my American Dream.

I know a lot of women now a days have a modern version of a woman's American Dream.  A career for themselves, money, and independence.  But I am very traditional.  I have always wanted to be a house wife and a mom. I don't want a career, I want to stay at home and bake cookies for my husband and kids. I am so lucky that I have this! I am so lucky to have Seth, to have my beautiful girl, and a bundle of blue on the way! I wouldn't trade this life for anything.

I just read my comments from my last blog, and I have to say thank you ladies! I am glad you guys like reading my blog!

Stephanie- Its funny how we live for 5 minutes of Facebook messaging, but its so worth it and can make the day 100 times better.

Susan!!! I miss you!!! I want you to know that your strength has been inspirational in my life! I hope you and all of my little friends are doing well! Thank you for your prayers, because no matter how strong we are, we still need them!

Aunt Cheryl, THANK YOU. I want you to know that even though you are far away, I still love you and miss you!  I have a purple and pink blanket that you made me, that is now in Briley's room (which of course is purple) and she loves sitting on it and playing with the tassels.

I think that one of the most important lessons I have learned in my lifetime thus far is to think positive. It has always been a challenge for me as I am naturally a pessimist. However, life would just be unbearably too hard if I didn't train myself constantly to be positive, and think of the happy moments and the happy times ahead.

Another exhausting day is done. Goodnight!

Black Licrorice

Seth Skyped me this morning, and I was not expecting to hear from him that early.  Of course, my hair was tangled, I had no makeup on, and I was wearing sweats.  Since I am finding out what we are having tomorrow, I asked him to think of some girl names. (Our boy name is set.)  He told me he would look some up and call me back.  Now, when he said "call" me back, I assumed Skype.  I rushed to put on some makeup and a nice top to redeem myself. Over an hour later he facebooked me and said he would Skype me tomorrow.  (Seriously?!) I told him I got dressed and put on makeup, and his response? He apologized for making me "get ready" before 11am.

Now I "LMAO"ed for real, and thinking about it now I am laughing. Although, it kinda hurt my feelings he didn't want to skype me, I'm kinda flattered he never noticed that I quit putting on make up to just sit around the house.  When we first got together, I would climb out of bed early to put makeup on and look pretty. For over a year now, make up has been for going out somewhere, and I don't mean the grocery store.

Oh, I am still Laughing at the thought. "Hold on Briley, Mommy has to put makeup on!" " Let me fix my hair so I can play with the dog!"

Then, he told me he received his small box. SMALL BOX. I really only sent it because he broke one of his banjo strings, so I added some goodies in with some new strings. This was his 2nd box in 10 days time. He COMPLAINED about what I sent!!! 

It reminds me of my first deployment with him.  He asked for black licorice. I sent it. Then he calls and tells me how much he hates black licorice.  What is wrong with this man? Someday, somehow, he will learn to be grateful. And until then, I will continue to laugh at him and send him black licorice.

And seriously, all complaining and joking aside, I truly love him.  Being separated brings back all the feelings of our previous separations, and falling in love.  When he messages me I get butterflies. I wait by the phone like a teenage girl. I try to look pretty for him on our skype "dates."

Seth is the only person in the world I can fall in love with over and over again.

Today, 5 weeks are over.

Gender Reveal ?!?!

Monday is the day I will find out who our 2nd Little Prosser is. I am so excited.  A lot of people have asked me if I have a "feeling" one way or another.  Usually if a woman has a feeling she is right. However, I KNEW Briley was a boy, and so did everyone else.  I was even given boy stuff AFTER we found out she was a girl.  I was so shocked when we found out. So, NO!! I am giving up on the feeling thing. I have no clue.  But I will say, a few days before we found out that Briley was Briley, I had a dream that we were at the ultrasound and found out it was a girl. This time, I have had two ultrasound dreams that had the same outcome. Interesting! I'll find out Monday if I have dream power.

With big news on the horizon, I am seriously debating how I am going to tell Seth.  Here is a list of my ideas:

1. A gender reveal box.  I could do SO MUCH with this... the possibilities are limited, but also endless, so If I do tell him this way I need to decide how. Also, I would have to keep my mouth shut for 10-14ish days until he opened the box.  I think it is only right that he is the first person I tell; however, keeping such exciting news a secret will be hard!  Here are my box ideas:

• I could bake cake pops. A hard chocolate shell surrounding pink or blue core.  I would wrap them in press and seal and put them in Tupperware to hope they last at least 10 days.
• I could send a message in a bottle
• The whole box can be decorated in pink or blue, filled with appropriate colored items, confetti, cookies, candy, etc.
• I could to an Easter theme. I would send a bunch of plastic Easter eggs, all filled with candy except one with "its a boy" or "its a girl" message.  He would have to do an egg hunt to find out.
• There are tons of other things I could send to tell him.... Tell me your ideas....

  2.  Over Skype now this idea is good, because I can see his reaction, but its not as exciting, so I was thinking of revealing it on skype in some kind cool way, such as:

• An appropriate colored bow on my tummy that I could flash him.
• An appropriate colored balloon
• I could reveal a onesie that says "little brother" or "little sister"
• Again... Tell me your ideas.

   3.Make him wait until the baby is born.  The doctor can tell him on skype, when the baby is delivered.  Funny but I really couldn't do that to him ;)

So I need non judgmental ideas, input, and opinions. Comment on the blog or facebook under the link! Thanks friends!

-Officially 1 month down!!!! (how exciting?!?!)

Driveway Drunk

Finally starting to doze off, I was disturbed by voices yelling out on the street.  It was sometime after 11 last night, so I figured it was people making their way to or from the Pewter Mug a few blocks away. It is a usual occurrence on a Friday or Saturday night, but it has never been too loud or disruptive.  However, last night the voices just got closer and closer. Some one was in my front yard. I sat up and listened closely.  Yes, the voice was outside my window. Then I heard the crunching of snow going up the side of my house... Is there someone in my driveway?! I grabbed my phone and climbed out of bed to look out the side window of my room.  Sure enough, a man is stumbling around in my driveway. He's looking at my car. My first thought is hes going to break in and steal the pack of red vines off the passenger seat. I unlock my phone and get ready to call the police when I hear the voice coming from the front yard. Crap, there is two of them. I go to the front window and see another man gesturing to the man in my drive way.

"You're going the wrong way, Dude come on!"

Okay, so at least he's trying to get this guy off my property, not encouraging him. I opened the window and shouted to the sober man,

"Do you guys need help?"
"No, I am so sorry, my buddy is just drunk."
"Well, he is walking around my driveway," I reply, "and it's weird"
"I know I am trying to get him home. He is really drunk, we just got back from Afghanistan."
Ugh. I can't call the cops on them..
"I'm glad you guys are back safe, just make sure you get your buddy back home safe."
"I will try!" He calls to the drunk, who stumbles back toward the sidewalk, falls, gets back up and they start walking down the street.
 

I chuckled as I climbed back under the covers.  I will never forget being 21 and hitting up downtown Athens, Georgia with Seth after  he returned from Iraq for the first time. Despite many rounds of celebratory shots,  I knew that night that I would marry him; that he was mine, and I was his.

Happy memories make me smile.  And they make me think of the whole future of memories waiting for us to make.  Soon this deployment will be nothing but another memory.

One less day!