Gender Reveal ?!?!

Monday is the day I will find out who our 2nd Little Prosser is. I am so excited.  A lot of people have asked me if I have a "feeling" one way or another.  Usually if a woman has a feeling she is right. However, I KNEW Briley was a boy, and so did everyone else.  I was even given boy stuff AFTER we found out she was a girl.  I was so shocked when we found out. So, NO!! I am giving up on the feeling thing. I have no clue.  But I will say, a few days before we found out that Briley was Briley, I had a dream that we were at the ultrasound and found out it was a girl. This time, I have had two ultrasound dreams that had the same outcome. Interesting! I'll find out Monday if I have dream power.

With big news on the horizon, I am seriously debating how I am going to tell Seth.  Here is a list of my ideas:

1. A gender reveal box.  I could do SO MUCH with this... the possibilities are limited, but also endless, so If I do tell him this way I need to decide how. Also, I would have to keep my mouth shut for 10-14ish days until he opened the box.  I think it is only right that he is the first person I tell; however, keeping such exciting news a secret will be hard!  Here are my box ideas:

• I could bake cake pops. A hard chocolate shell surrounding pink or blue core.  I would wrap them in press and seal and put them in Tupperware to hope they last at least 10 days.
• I could send a message in a bottle
• The whole box can be decorated in pink or blue, filled with appropriate colored items, confetti, cookies, candy, etc.
• I could to an Easter theme. I would send a bunch of plastic Easter eggs, all filled with candy except one with "its a boy" or "its a girl" message.  He would have to do an egg hunt to find out.
• There are tons of other things I could send to tell him.... Tell me your ideas....

  2.  Over Skype now this idea is good, because I can see his reaction, but its not as exciting, so I was thinking of revealing it on skype in some kind cool way, such as:

• An appropriate colored bow on my tummy that I could flash him.
• An appropriate colored balloon
• I could reveal a onesie that says "little brother" or "little sister"
• Again... Tell me your ideas.

   3.Make him wait until the baby is born.  The doctor can tell him on skype, when the baby is delivered.  Funny but I really couldn't do that to him ;)

So I need non judgmental ideas, input, and opinions. Comment on the blog or facebook under the link! Thanks friends!

-Officially 1 month down!!!! (how exciting?!?!)

Driveway Drunk

Finally starting to doze off, I was disturbed by voices yelling out on the street.  It was sometime after 11 last night, so I figured it was people making their way to or from the Pewter Mug a few blocks away. It is a usual occurrence on a Friday or Saturday night, but it has never been too loud or disruptive.  However, last night the voices just got closer and closer. Some one was in my front yard. I sat up and listened closely.  Yes, the voice was outside my window. Then I heard the crunching of snow going up the side of my house... Is there someone in my driveway?! I grabbed my phone and climbed out of bed to look out the side window of my room.  Sure enough, a man is stumbling around in my driveway. He's looking at my car. My first thought is hes going to break in and steal the pack of red vines off the passenger seat. I unlock my phone and get ready to call the police when I hear the voice coming from the front yard. Crap, there is two of them. I go to the front window and see another man gesturing to the man in my drive way.

"You're going the wrong way, Dude come on!"

Okay, so at least he's trying to get this guy off my property, not encouraging him. I opened the window and shouted to the sober man,

"Do you guys need help?"
"No, I am so sorry, my buddy is just drunk."
"Well, he is walking around my driveway," I reply, "and it's weird"
"I know I am trying to get him home. He is really drunk, we just got back from Afghanistan."
Ugh. I can't call the cops on them..
"I'm glad you guys are back safe, just make sure you get your buddy back home safe."
"I will try!" He calls to the drunk, who stumbles back toward the sidewalk, falls, gets back up and they start walking down the street.
 

I chuckled as I climbed back under the covers.  I will never forget being 21 and hitting up downtown Athens, Georgia with Seth after  he returned from Iraq for the first time. Despite many rounds of celebratory shots,  I knew that night that I would marry him; that he was mine, and I was his.

Happy memories make me smile.  And they make me think of the whole future of memories waiting for us to make.  Soon this deployment will be nothing but another memory.

One less day!

 

Quotables

I haven't talked to Seth today, so I'm feeling anxious and a little down. There are also some other personal issues that are just getting to me, (that I should not type in a blog for the world to read.)  I really miss being able to confide in Seth- actually having real conversations. I can always tell him my problems, and he will tell me his honest opinion, which I truly value whether I like it or not. He speaks his mind, and tells it how it is. I can tell him anything, and I could really use that right now.  Thing is, when I finally do get 5 minutes to facebook chat, I want to find out how he is doing, not blab about my problems. Likewise, I'm sure he wants to know all is OK here with the baby, the pregnancy, the dog, and the house. There is just no time for me to talk about things that are bothering me and ask for his opinions and advice.

I just miss him so much. So I went back to this web page I mentioned in a previous blog and looked up some more quotes to try to make me feel better. Although I do not feel any better, but these quotes kinda sum up some of my feelings tonight.

There's nothing weak about worrying, or breaking down. You're surviving a deployment, it's okay to be human.

You're always "doing well" there will be times where everything hits rock bottom, and it seems like you're in the wrong lane, but that's life. Life doesn't stop because you're going through a deployment. Deployments are hard because life goes on when you feel like your world is crashing down. It can and will eat you alive if you let it....but you'd have to let it.

 ...sometimes you have to be selfish and you feel like (sugar) for it, but it's the way it is. Sometimes you just want to be acknowledged that you're going through a hard time too, but that never comes. Sometimes you wonder how there could possibly be any tears left. That doesn't make you weak.
 

Another day is done. 

Valentine

So I got to talk to Seth today, and to be completely honest, (which is why I started a blog) he pissed me off. To avoid getting to personal, and to keep things short- I think talking on facebook is a lot of the problem.  He wanted me to describe the broken fence, and some paper work, which is hard to do for me, especially when I'm trying to type it in a facebook message on my phone. So I think we were both getting annoyed.  As I was waiting for a reply I decided to bring my dog in. I had him by the collar when I unleashed him, and he twisted my arm, and pulled me to knees in the slushy, dirty, driveway snow. He freed himself from my grasp and took off.  While I was chasing him down Seth replied and I couldn't respond until I had the escapee back in the house.  I explained what happened, but he was even more annoyed that he has to "wait on me to respond." Which in turn made me more upset that he wasn't more understanding of the situation.  From then on it was a rather annoying and unpleasant conversation.  He just wanted to discuss business- taxes, bills, and whatnot, while I wanted him to ask if I was okay and tell me how much he loved me and missed me.

I think that he thinks that I have it easy.. I mean all I do is sit at home and take care of a baby. I don't think he understands the stress of dealing with every day life without him here. And then taking care of all of the things that he usually does, like taxes, bills, broken gates, frozen pipes, broken furnaces, shoveling and deicing. I'm not used to all this crap.  And although I LOVE every second of staying at home to raise my daughter, it is by no means easy.

At first, I was really stressed and upset that we "argued." We don't get to talk very much and we wont see each other again for a long time, so when I have the opportunity to talk to him, I should be thankful and enjoy the time and conversation that I get.

But as the day went on, I am thinking- its normal.  We are both stressed. We are now on different pages, in different situations.  In addition, we get in normal marital arguments while he is home, why is this any different? I found a website that I really like that discussed the matter.

"Fighting during deployment is MORE than normal. Maybe there are a few couples that don't fight but I'm sure they have their own issues. Healthy couples know how to argue and move forward. You're both in difficult yet contradicting situations and both of you are looking for someone to understand, you're stressed, you're alone. Things aren't always going to be rainbows & butterflies & that's okay."
 

That quote makes me feel better. I love Seth more than anything, but sometimes we don't agree, or irritate each other and I think that's a normal part of any relationship. The key is moving forward.


To celebrate Valentine's Day, I am going to eat lunch with the other ladies whose Valentines are deployed. I am looking forward to it, and I think it will be a good time.

-Moving forward.

 Happy Valentine's Day

 

Much to Write about NOTHING

Its been uneventful these past couple of days, even with Winter Storm NEMO. Friday I had an OB apt, but I assume the office was closed because they would not answer the phone and everything on post was closed for the day. I was very disappointed because I like the Dr. that I had an apt. with and I was really hoping she would give me an early glance at baby boy or baby girl parts.

I would guess we got about a foot or so- but I am no snow expert. It snowed all night, all day, and all night again. Saturday It was sunny and beautiful, and by 11am my neighbor had snow-blown and shoveled me out.

Other then that... that's about it. I hate weekends now. HA! I would have NEVER said that a year ago. Now without Seth they are slow and lonely, and SLOW. I should clean. Well I caught up on some laundry, but I should have done more. I am seriously lacking some motivation.

Headaches aren't helping me get things done around here. I used to get complicated migraines all of the time, but around my 2nd trimester with Briley they pretty much stopped until I had her. Well now I'm getting headaches, and i can't take anything but Tylenol. I used to have 4 different prescriptions which didn't help, so I don't have a lot of faith in regular Tylenol.. I try to catch them right away- medicate and drink extra water, then hope for the best. I am hoping they stop soon like they did in my first pregnancy.

I am glad the weekend is over. On to another week! A week of plans! A week to get moving and closer to marking a month off the calender!

I am surprised I wrote this much about pretty much nothing... is anyone reading? That's kinda good though, nothing crazy has happened to write about. Just usual life- loving on my baby, and missing my handsome husband.

Its gonna be okay though because we are 3 weeks closer to being together again.

Flamingo

After hitting the 2 week mark, I've felt myself slowly drifting down. Dealing with deployment is a chiche emotional roller-coaster, where the gravity of being separated just wants to bring you down, but with the science of optimism you try to keep going up- only to go down again.  There's even crazy twists, turns, and loops.  Now get on that roller-coaster pregnant with an infant.

I want to be happy. But sometimes it's just so damn hard.  It would be so much easier to just stay in bed.  Luckily I have a sweet giggly baby that needs me to keep moving.

I had somewhat of a wake up call around 4:00 this afternoon.  I was still wearing sweats. I still had bed head from sleeping with damp hair, I had only accomplished one load of laundry and cleaning out the vacuum.  Briley was wearing just a onesie and socks.  To top it all off, I was sitting on the couch eating a can of strawberry flavored cake frosting with a butter knive. 

WHAT THE FLAMINGO am I doing?  I am letting myself sit here and be sad! I am letting myself get down. And even though the frosting was very yummy, I'm sure its not considered a pregnancy super food.

I wrote a shopping list with a blue crayon, and even though it was 24 degrees out, I bundled up my little bundle of joy and we got out of the house.

I've talked to some of the other ladies, whose husbands are with mine. And surprise, they have been feeling like they're kinda in a rut, too. I wonder if its like a preset timeline. Or maybe its the miserable weather. Either way, I feel good knowing that I am not alone. Not at all. Its good to know what I'm feeling is normal.

I am glad I have plans for tomorrow.  I need to have plans. I need to stay busy. I DO NOT need to wear sweats all day and sit.  I'm going to workout in the morning, and I am so thankful for my stollerstrides group.  I will feel so much better after MOVING.

Today is Briley's 7 month Birthday. Can you believe it?!?! 7 MONTHS!!!

Pickles & cookies

Today started off a little depressing, as my shopping trip to get care package supplies has a weather delay. The forecast says snow until Tuesday. YUCK.  I really didn't get much done today. In fact, I'm lucky I brushed my hair and put clothes on. 

I laid Briley down for a nap and instead of working on the mountain of laundry I had waiting, I decided to catch up on "Next Great Baker." I would LOVE to learn how to decorate cakes.

  So, anyway, while I was watching, Seth facebooked me, and it was so good to talk to him. He was even able to get skype working for a few minutes! I brought the phone up to Briley's room so he could see her.  When she heard his voice she woke up, which was good because she got to see her daddy. It really made my heart literally melt.

Here's the best part: Briley used her crib to pull herself up for the first time! All by herself!! AND SETH GOT TO SEE IT!!!

IT MADE MY DAY!!!

He also got to see her petting Duke (which I think made his day.)

DEPLOYMENT SUCKS. But life is about the little moments, the ones that melt your heart. I don't want to miss a single happy moment because I am feeling sad or sorry for myself.  Although that is kinda unavoidable all of the time, I am determined to at least keep my head up.

Tomorrow we celebrate 2 weeks down!