American Dream

It's been a while since I posted, so just in case you missed my facebook announcement, IT'S A BOY!!!!!  I am SO surprised and excited!!! I just feel so complete now, I have a handsome husband and I am a stay at home mommy to a daughter and a son. One of each. HOW PERFECT IS THAT?!? Honestly, I am living my American Dream.

I know a lot of women now a days have a modern version of a woman's American Dream.  A career for themselves, money, and independence.  But I am very traditional.  I have always wanted to be a house wife and a mom. I don't want a career, I want to stay at home and bake cookies for my husband and kids. I am so lucky that I have this! I am so lucky to have Seth, to have my beautiful girl, and a bundle of blue on the way! I wouldn't trade this life for anything.

I just read my comments from my last blog, and I have to say thank you ladies! I am glad you guys like reading my blog!

Stephanie- Its funny how we live for 5 minutes of Facebook messaging, but its so worth it and can make the day 100 times better.

Susan!!! I miss you!!! I want you to know that your strength has been inspirational in my life! I hope you and all of my little friends are doing well! Thank you for your prayers, because no matter how strong we are, we still need them!

Aunt Cheryl, THANK YOU. I want you to know that even though you are far away, I still love you and miss you!  I have a purple and pink blanket that you made me, that is now in Briley's room (which of course is purple) and she loves sitting on it and playing with the tassels.

I think that one of the most important lessons I have learned in my lifetime thus far is to think positive. It has always been a challenge for me as I am naturally a pessimist. However, life would just be unbearably too hard if I didn't train myself constantly to be positive, and think of the happy moments and the happy times ahead.

Another exhausting day is done. Goodnight!

Black Licrorice

Seth Skyped me this morning, and I was not expecting to hear from him that early.  Of course, my hair was tangled, I had no makeup on, and I was wearing sweats.  Since I am finding out what we are having tomorrow, I asked him to think of some girl names. (Our boy name is set.)  He told me he would look some up and call me back.  Now, when he said "call" me back, I assumed Skype.  I rushed to put on some makeup and a nice top to redeem myself. Over an hour later he facebooked me and said he would Skype me tomorrow.  (Seriously?!) I told him I got dressed and put on makeup, and his response? He apologized for making me "get ready" before 11am.

Now I "LMAO"ed for real, and thinking about it now I am laughing. Although, it kinda hurt my feelings he didn't want to skype me, I'm kinda flattered he never noticed that I quit putting on make up to just sit around the house.  When we first got together, I would climb out of bed early to put makeup on and look pretty. For over a year now, make up has been for going out somewhere, and I don't mean the grocery store.

Oh, I am still Laughing at the thought. "Hold on Briley, Mommy has to put makeup on!" " Let me fix my hair so I can play with the dog!"

Then, he told me he received his small box. SMALL BOX. I really only sent it because he broke one of his banjo strings, so I added some goodies in with some new strings. This was his 2nd box in 10 days time. He COMPLAINED about what I sent!!! 

It reminds me of my first deployment with him.  He asked for black licorice. I sent it. Then he calls and tells me how much he hates black licorice.  What is wrong with this man? Someday, somehow, he will learn to be grateful. And until then, I will continue to laugh at him and send him black licorice.

And seriously, all complaining and joking aside, I truly love him.  Being separated brings back all the feelings of our previous separations, and falling in love.  When he messages me I get butterflies. I wait by the phone like a teenage girl. I try to look pretty for him on our skype "dates."

Seth is the only person in the world I can fall in love with over and over again.

Today, 5 weeks are over.

Gender Reveal ?!?!

Monday is the day I will find out who our 2nd Little Prosser is. I am so excited.  A lot of people have asked me if I have a "feeling" one way or another.  Usually if a woman has a feeling she is right. However, I KNEW Briley was a boy, and so did everyone else.  I was even given boy stuff AFTER we found out she was a girl.  I was so shocked when we found out. So, NO!! I am giving up on the feeling thing. I have no clue.  But I will say, a few days before we found out that Briley was Briley, I had a dream that we were at the ultrasound and found out it was a girl. This time, I have had two ultrasound dreams that had the same outcome. Interesting! I'll find out Monday if I have dream power.

With big news on the horizon, I am seriously debating how I am going to tell Seth.  Here is a list of my ideas:

1. A gender reveal box.  I could do SO MUCH with this... the possibilities are limited, but also endless, so If I do tell him this way I need to decide how. Also, I would have to keep my mouth shut for 10-14ish days until he opened the box.  I think it is only right that he is the first person I tell; however, keeping such exciting news a secret will be hard!  Here are my box ideas:

• I could bake cake pops. A hard chocolate shell surrounding pink or blue core.  I would wrap them in press and seal and put them in Tupperware to hope they last at least 10 days.
• I could send a message in a bottle
• The whole box can be decorated in pink or blue, filled with appropriate colored items, confetti, cookies, candy, etc.
• I could to an Easter theme. I would send a bunch of plastic Easter eggs, all filled with candy except one with "its a boy" or "its a girl" message.  He would have to do an egg hunt to find out.
• There are tons of other things I could send to tell him.... Tell me your ideas....

  2.  Over Skype now this idea is good, because I can see his reaction, but its not as exciting, so I was thinking of revealing it on skype in some kind cool way, such as:

• An appropriate colored bow on my tummy that I could flash him.
• An appropriate colored balloon
• I could reveal a onesie that says "little brother" or "little sister"
• Again... Tell me your ideas.

   3.Make him wait until the baby is born.  The doctor can tell him on skype, when the baby is delivered.  Funny but I really couldn't do that to him ;)

So I need non judgmental ideas, input, and opinions. Comment on the blog or facebook under the link! Thanks friends!

-Officially 1 month down!!!! (how exciting?!?!)

Driveway Drunk

Finally starting to doze off, I was disturbed by voices yelling out on the street.  It was sometime after 11 last night, so I figured it was people making their way to or from the Pewter Mug a few blocks away. It is a usual occurrence on a Friday or Saturday night, but it has never been too loud or disruptive.  However, last night the voices just got closer and closer. Some one was in my front yard. I sat up and listened closely.  Yes, the voice was outside my window. Then I heard the crunching of snow going up the side of my house... Is there someone in my driveway?! I grabbed my phone and climbed out of bed to look out the side window of my room.  Sure enough, a man is stumbling around in my driveway. He's looking at my car. My first thought is hes going to break in and steal the pack of red vines off the passenger seat. I unlock my phone and get ready to call the police when I hear the voice coming from the front yard. Crap, there is two of them. I go to the front window and see another man gesturing to the man in my drive way.

"You're going the wrong way, Dude come on!"

Okay, so at least he's trying to get this guy off my property, not encouraging him. I opened the window and shouted to the sober man,

"Do you guys need help?"
"No, I am so sorry, my buddy is just drunk."
"Well, he is walking around my driveway," I reply, "and it's weird"
"I know I am trying to get him home. He is really drunk, we just got back from Afghanistan."
Ugh. I can't call the cops on them..
"I'm glad you guys are back safe, just make sure you get your buddy back home safe."
"I will try!" He calls to the drunk, who stumbles back toward the sidewalk, falls, gets back up and they start walking down the street.
 

I chuckled as I climbed back under the covers.  I will never forget being 21 and hitting up downtown Athens, Georgia with Seth after  he returned from Iraq for the first time. Despite many rounds of celebratory shots,  I knew that night that I would marry him; that he was mine, and I was his.

Happy memories make me smile.  And they make me think of the whole future of memories waiting for us to make.  Soon this deployment will be nothing but another memory.

One less day!

 

Quotables

I haven't talked to Seth today, so I'm feeling anxious and a little down. There are also some other personal issues that are just getting to me, (that I should not type in a blog for the world to read.)  I really miss being able to confide in Seth- actually having real conversations. I can always tell him my problems, and he will tell me his honest opinion, which I truly value whether I like it or not. He speaks his mind, and tells it how it is. I can tell him anything, and I could really use that right now.  Thing is, when I finally do get 5 minutes to facebook chat, I want to find out how he is doing, not blab about my problems. Likewise, I'm sure he wants to know all is OK here with the baby, the pregnancy, the dog, and the house. There is just no time for me to talk about things that are bothering me and ask for his opinions and advice.

I just miss him so much. So I went back to this web page I mentioned in a previous blog and looked up some more quotes to try to make me feel better. Although I do not feel any better, but these quotes kinda sum up some of my feelings tonight.

There's nothing weak about worrying, or breaking down. You're surviving a deployment, it's okay to be human.

You're always "doing well" there will be times where everything hits rock bottom, and it seems like you're in the wrong lane, but that's life. Life doesn't stop because you're going through a deployment. Deployments are hard because life goes on when you feel like your world is crashing down. It can and will eat you alive if you let it....but you'd have to let it.

 ...sometimes you have to be selfish and you feel like (sugar) for it, but it's the way it is. Sometimes you just want to be acknowledged that you're going through a hard time too, but that never comes. Sometimes you wonder how there could possibly be any tears left. That doesn't make you weak.
 

Another day is done. 

Valentine

So I got to talk to Seth today, and to be completely honest, (which is why I started a blog) he pissed me off. To avoid getting to personal, and to keep things short- I think talking on facebook is a lot of the problem.  He wanted me to describe the broken fence, and some paper work, which is hard to do for me, especially when I'm trying to type it in a facebook message on my phone. So I think we were both getting annoyed.  As I was waiting for a reply I decided to bring my dog in. I had him by the collar when I unleashed him, and he twisted my arm, and pulled me to knees in the slushy, dirty, driveway snow. He freed himself from my grasp and took off.  While I was chasing him down Seth replied and I couldn't respond until I had the escapee back in the house.  I explained what happened, but he was even more annoyed that he has to "wait on me to respond." Which in turn made me more upset that he wasn't more understanding of the situation.  From then on it was a rather annoying and unpleasant conversation.  He just wanted to discuss business- taxes, bills, and whatnot, while I wanted him to ask if I was okay and tell me how much he loved me and missed me.

I think that he thinks that I have it easy.. I mean all I do is sit at home and take care of a baby. I don't think he understands the stress of dealing with every day life without him here. And then taking care of all of the things that he usually does, like taxes, bills, broken gates, frozen pipes, broken furnaces, shoveling and deicing. I'm not used to all this crap.  And although I LOVE every second of staying at home to raise my daughter, it is by no means easy.

At first, I was really stressed and upset that we "argued." We don't get to talk very much and we wont see each other again for a long time, so when I have the opportunity to talk to him, I should be thankful and enjoy the time and conversation that I get.

But as the day went on, I am thinking- its normal.  We are both stressed. We are now on different pages, in different situations.  In addition, we get in normal marital arguments while he is home, why is this any different? I found a website that I really like that discussed the matter.

"Fighting during deployment is MORE than normal. Maybe there are a few couples that don't fight but I'm sure they have their own issues. Healthy couples know how to argue and move forward. You're both in difficult yet contradicting situations and both of you are looking for someone to understand, you're stressed, you're alone. Things aren't always going to be rainbows & butterflies & that's okay."
 

That quote makes me feel better. I love Seth more than anything, but sometimes we don't agree, or irritate each other and I think that's a normal part of any relationship. The key is moving forward.


To celebrate Valentine's Day, I am going to eat lunch with the other ladies whose Valentines are deployed. I am looking forward to it, and I think it will be a good time.

-Moving forward.

 Happy Valentine's Day

 

Much to Write about NOTHING

Its been uneventful these past couple of days, even with Winter Storm NEMO. Friday I had an OB apt, but I assume the office was closed because they would not answer the phone and everything on post was closed for the day. I was very disappointed because I like the Dr. that I had an apt. with and I was really hoping she would give me an early glance at baby boy or baby girl parts.

I would guess we got about a foot or so- but I am no snow expert. It snowed all night, all day, and all night again. Saturday It was sunny and beautiful, and by 11am my neighbor had snow-blown and shoveled me out.

Other then that... that's about it. I hate weekends now. HA! I would have NEVER said that a year ago. Now without Seth they are slow and lonely, and SLOW. I should clean. Well I caught up on some laundry, but I should have done more. I am seriously lacking some motivation.

Headaches aren't helping me get things done around here. I used to get complicated migraines all of the time, but around my 2nd trimester with Briley they pretty much stopped until I had her. Well now I'm getting headaches, and i can't take anything but Tylenol. I used to have 4 different prescriptions which didn't help, so I don't have a lot of faith in regular Tylenol.. I try to catch them right away- medicate and drink extra water, then hope for the best. I am hoping they stop soon like they did in my first pregnancy.

I am glad the weekend is over. On to another week! A week of plans! A week to get moving and closer to marking a month off the calender!

I am surprised I wrote this much about pretty much nothing... is anyone reading? That's kinda good though, nothing crazy has happened to write about. Just usual life- loving on my baby, and missing my handsome husband.

Its gonna be okay though because we are 3 weeks closer to being together again.